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MINI-BIOGRAPHIE

Zé do Rock


Zé do Rock nació hace muchísimo tiempo en Brasil, o 14 630 günlər yaşadı (lived 14630 days), bebeu 1357 litros de alcool, spielte 940 stunden flöte, 648 hours football, a voyagé par autostopp 200.000 km dans 1457 autos, aviones, ontziak, trens, oxencarren und tractoren, he visited 139 lands and 16 prisons, s'amouraché 8 fois, escrivió 5 libros, направи 2 филми (made 2 films), inventou uma lingua artificial, creierte diverse simplifizierte deutsh-varianten und varianten von anderen linguas, didnt study anyding and he lives till the present day, surtout entre Stuttgart et Munich.

Si esto est demasiado corto, vea la mini-biografia larga que sigue. On va commencer avec 5 langues fixes - portuguęs, deutsch, english, fransais y espanhol - e uma "vaga" pras outras linguas europeias. They will converge until they form europano. 



CURRICULUM VITAE I PROSA


ANTES DO NASCIMENTO

Der papa von mainem groszvada vadalichasaids cam als pastor aus Litauen nach Brasilien. The mam af my fatha was a grand-daughta af german immigrants - from Lodz, that is and was Poland, but their family name was at least Schmidtke. La grand-parents de ma maman sont venus de la Russia. Todos mais abuelos eran hacenderos, mai pap era contador e mai mam ama de cas. Mai praavo estis ponardita al morto en Rusia, mai avo mortis de cirozo, unu onklo sur pafo dum ĉasado, alia onklo kiel infano ludante kun la revolvero, la lasto estis mortigita kun klabo post diskuto en trinkejo, kaj mai patrino mortis en rabo (My great-grandfather has been stabbed to deth in Russia, my grandfather died of cirrhosis of the liver, an uncle was shot by his friend while hunting, another uncle as a kid while playing with the revolver, the last one was slain with a club after a discussion in a bar, and my mother died in a mugging). Na Alemanha e na Europa os estrangeiros sao atacados, no Brasil todo mundo é atacado e assaltado, sem discriminassao. Trotzdem is so a familien-historie auch in Brasilien nicht normal.


0 - 5 years - JEUNE ENFANT

Ahí aprendi ver, holer, comer, caminar y hablar, pero hablar nunca lo aprendí muy bien.


5 - 10 aastat - VELHA CRIANS

Da ging ich in die schule. I was never number one, but normally among the first third withaut a greater effort. Et j'ai apris la piano par 4 ans. Naturalmente lo olvidé completamente.


10 - 20 χρόνια - JOVEM JOVEM


Ich visitieret waitahin die schul e machet das abitur. Besaides, i was cuait a bad rowdy, stole a lot af dinges e caused a few accidents. Je bouvais de l'eau-de-vie avec 50% alcohol en 10 minutes et pouvais encora marcher a peu pres normalment. Tambien tom
é varias drogas, mas jamás inhalee, como presidente Clinton. Bhí mé cúpla uair gabhadh hachomair, agus uaireanta bhí mé go deonach i bpríosúin de bharr go raibh mé ag taisteal agus ní raibh aon airgead le haghaidh an t-óstán (for a few times i was breefly arrested, and sometimes I was voluntarily in prisons becaus I was travling and had no money for the hotel). Nesse meio tempo eu trabalhei em diversas profissoes no scritorio, como na departamento pessoal, viagens agence, compras departamento, e mesme como enciclopedies vendedor. Ich machet diverse curse: theatre, cörper exprecion, danz, deutsh, russish, flöte, cello. In the age de 17 i went aut in the world to chek if the world is really round, but in Ecuador i was mugged, lost my passport e had to go bak to Brazil. En Amazonie j'etais 2 mes en prison, parce que la militaires brasilians soupsonnaient que j'etais un spion ou terrorist.

20 - 30 ańos - GAMALL UNGUR

Eu fiz um erro e casei. Denn werket ich noch a zait lang als übersetzer e fuhr mit maine spusa in die waite weld hinain. Naturally we made all by autostop. Avec des autos, camiones, charrettes a boeufs, velos, trenes, bateaux et mem avec des aviones. Sudamerica, Nordamerica, en Europa mai spos estaba fatigee de viagar, e así me fuí a Africa solo. In Africa a volte non c'era trafico e quindi ho dovuto camminare per centinaie chilometri (in Africa thare was sometimes no trafic and so I had to walk hundreds of kilometers). No Djibuti por exemplo tudo é super caro. Das bir costa 5 euro die mini dose und is de Deutshland. The toilet paper is de China, e der you see dat even to produce toilete paper you need know-how, e the chines dont hav it. La chocolat est de Brasil et n'a pas un gout si bon comme chocolate suisse, mais bien mieux que la toilette papier chinois.

Mas tarde recebí una carta de mai sposa que decía que ella had se enamoree de un austrío, e así me veí forzee a volar de vuelt a Munich, mesme si yo no had las monedas pra la vuelo. Naturalmente non c'era niente da salvar a Monaco di Baviera (of course thare was nothing to save in Munich). Mas de cualquer forma nós ainda moramos juntos por 2 meses - claro, no eu e minha spos e sim eu e o austrío. Bis zu disem zaitpunkt i had ainige jobes hinta mir: mashinawasha, fliszbandwerca, lkw-fara, möbelpaka, tv-turm-montagesheff in Afrika, bürocraft, snapsfara, courirfara, gigolo, raisefüra, küchenhelfe, im film cable-arsh e statist, laida ni sadist.

30 - 40 yares - JEUNE ADULTE

En Alemania yo hice un film de bajo presupuesto de 90 minutos. Il suo nom era NO ELEPHANTS, perchee non c'erano elefanti na film (the name was NO ELEPHANTS, becaus thare wer no elefants in the film). Le foi mostrado im um cinema, foi bem visitee, e mais tarde le vez por outra foi mostrado in um festival. Er arntete immahin ainige gude criticas, wobai ali vor der mauen tecnischen cualitee warnten. It was no surprise, wi didnt hav a profecional ekipment e no profecionale tim.

I ha continuee mai voyage a travers l'Afrique et puis i suis allee a l'Asia et Australia. In Australia yo aprendi todo que se tiene que aprender aí pra sobreviver: cazar bumeranges e lanzar canguris. Caçar cangaris is facil, speciali cuan es troben al voltant d'una cantonada (hunting boomerangs is eesy, especially if they li around in a corner). Lansar cangaris é super mais dificil, principali lansar les de uma manera qui les voltem.

Tuvalu, a mini republica na Südsee, is 30 km lang e 300 m brait. Wen ai eb, the land is twaice as mega, becaus it is twaice as broad. Il ai seulement un restaurant et une rue, pour la taxistes super simple: la passager entre, la chaufeur cuestionn: avant ou de retour?

De vuelt a Asia, Europa, Nordamerica e finali Sudamerica. Sve u svemu had je plus ili minus 35 različite poslove, bio u 139 zemalja, autostopirao 200 000 km, put je trajao 13 godin e had puno problema s razbojnika, policija e žena (Altogether i had more or less 35 different jobs, i was in 139 countries, I hitchhiked 200 000 km, the trip took 13 years and I had a lot of trouble with robbers, police and women).

I fiquei um meio ano no Brasil, daí i mi apaixonei por uma aleman e vim com ela pra Alemanha. Da scrib i das buk "fom winde ferfeelt", werend i taxi fur - i main am stand. The book was published 1995 by the Edition Diá, Berlin. Ist main histoirie, un peu plus in detail ke dans cet text, racontee in ultradoitsh (ultra-allman), sa veut dire, la libre commence in allman normal, cada capitre a un change dans el ortografie, et a partir de ce moment oni ecrit avec cet change jusqu'a la fin, ou un allman fonetik apparait. I keria mostrar ki aleman is desnesesariamente complicado (e inexacto), mas el obra no debria ser una critica destructiv, por eso i keria mostrar ki tamben is posible farlo simple.

Bilo je 32 izvješća e interviua na TV-u, 38 na radiju e 106 članaka u novinama, što je obično rezervee za mega bestselera (Thare wer 32 reports and intervews on TV, 38 on the radio and 106 articles in the newspapers, wat is usualy reservd for the big bestsellers). Mais tarde el editora Gustav Kiepenheuer Verlag Leipzig comprou la direitos, e el editora Piper Verlag im Minga (Munique) ha la direitos pra las edicioes de libro de bolso. La version bresilienne a etee publiee dans la meme annee par el editeur LPM de Porto Alegre avec le titre 'Ze do Rock - o eroi sem nem um agá' (la heros sans H).


40 - 50 jar - OLD ADULT

Mai deuxieme livre, 'UFO in der küche' ('OVNI dans la cuisine'), a etee publiee in 1998 bai la Kiepenheuer Verlag, Leipzig. Is un libro de ficcion cientifik autobiografik, la mas mega parte se pasa in el anyo 2019 (fuee un anyo super duro pra mi), e trata del secuestro (del autor) bai un OVNI e del secuestro del famoso critico literario Marshel Rauch-Rampenliczki. Tas ir rakstīts "wunschdeutsch" (vēlmju-vācu, mīļākā vācu): manā literāri šovos, i let 20 000 cilvēku balsot par visām iespējamām izmaiņām ortografik e sniedza tam par pamatu, demokratiskas rakstību vācu (It is written in "wunschdeutsch" (wish-german, favorit german): in my literary shows, I let 20 000 peeple vote on all possible orthografic changes and made then a basis-democratic orthografy for german). Esse é la sistema ki i usa in minha normale correspondence, cuando i screvo im alemao, ja ki la dicionarios hoi im dei no entre direito im acordo. Das tashenbuk ershin im juni 2000 im Piper Verlag.

Mai drid (3th) book was publicad in 2002 bai la Kunstmann Verlag, la title was DEUTSCH GUTT SONST GELD ZURUCK (Der gnadenschuss für sprachunbegabte) - GERMAN GOOD OTREWAIZE MONY BACK (La coup de grace for pople widaut eni linguistic talent). Is una coleccion de reales e ficticias storis, presentee como un libro didatik, scrito in Siegfriedisch e kaudadeutsh. Siegfriedisch yra grynai germanų vokiečių, visų paskolų žodžiai, kaip "Tisch" (de latinų kalbos "discus", panašus su englų kalbos "dish", o tai reiškia "stalo") arba "Zwiebel" (de latinų kalbos "Cipolla", reiškiančio "svogūną") nedelsiant deportet e pakeisti žodžius kaip "Essbrett" (valgyti valdybos) e "Heulgemüse" (kaukimas daržovių) (Siegfriedisch is a purely germanic german, all loan words, as 'Tisch' (from latin 'discus', akin with english 'dish' but meaning 'table') or 'Zwiebel' (from latin 'cipolla', meaning 'onion') are immediately deported and replaced with words like 'Essbrett' (eating board) and 'Heulgemüse' (howling vegetable)). El outre lingua é kaudadeutsh, una specie de aleman internacionalizedo e multicultural, ki usa internacionale palavras e formas la tanto cuanto possible - exactli la contrario de Siegfriedisch.


50 - 70 jar - YOUNG OLDIE

In 2009 mai film 'Schroeder liegt in Brasilien' (Schroeder ist in Brasil) aux cinemas. La film ha dise nome porkee la ciudadita Schroeder is realik in Brasil, y el muestra ki los alemanis son pobres mas felizes, mientras la brasilis ha mucha moni mas vive reclamando.

Ugyanebben az évben a negyedik könyv, ki kiadta az A1 kiadók, "Jede sekunde stirbt ein nichtraucher - ein lexikon über vorurteile und andere teile" - Minden második a nem dohányzó dai - a szószedetet előítéletről és egyéb Judit (In the same yeer my fourth book was publishd by the A1 publishers, 'Jede sekunde stirbt ein nichtraucher - a lexikon üba vorurteile un andre teile' (Eech seccond a non smoker dies in the world - a glossary about prejudice and other Judiths). La livro é uma voiag através dos landes, linguas e preconceitos. I gewann auk el Ernst-Hoferichter-Pris, die zu exemplo au Doris Dörrie e Gerhard Polt ja gewann.

In the ano 2010 i won togeda co la film director Dominik Graf e la singo Konstantin Wecker la Schwabinger Kunstpreis, the Art Prize de Schwabing.

I ha fait autostop a travers Brasil et ik ai interviw la chofeuris ki ont transporte mi, oso des interessale personis ki i ha rencontra dans mai chemin, et so ik ai ecrit un caleidoscope de biografies brasilianes: 'Per anhalter durch die brasilianische galaxis' (in autostop a travers la brasiliano galaxie). Algi ha dicho ke la libro is fantastik, mas i can no me acordar kien ha sid.

Каkо dоlgорочеn проjеkт, i патуваат niз зеmјiте kаdе што nе суm bil во преd e јас пlаniраат dа nапiше knigа за тоа (as a long term project, i travel thru the cuntries ware I havnt been befor and i plan to write a book about it). Pro isso i tive a lili tempo in Africa, denov. A belo continent, aber el überfall, la deportacion e la malaria war no bon für mai salud. In Asia i was, among otre landes, in Nordkorea. Un belo land, ou la gouvernement ha resolu do (2) mega problemas af el humanitee: lis ha no des problemas co les embouteillages et ha no problemas co la dikitee.

In 2013 i participee na Premio Bachmann de Literatur in Klagenfurt. I ma jirbaħ xejn, minħabba li ħafna jurati had el opinion ki dak i fa huwa bon comedie ma no literatur (I didn't win anything, because most jurors had the opinion that what I do is good comedy but no literature). Varios jornal ha sei ki foi uma pena ki i ganhei nad. Pre lis ha da la praise, fili had el opinion dass i bi la favorito pro la publicu pris, ma jeman andas gewann es. Some journales expliked it bai sei ki the internet is unexplicable.

Lorsque mai compana Christiane Lange a gagnee un job in Stuttgad - ela ist la neuvelle directora de la Staatsgalerie - i ha demenagee de Minga (Munich) a Suttgad, mas oni ha encor un pied in Minga. Stuttgad is un poco mas caliente, mesme ki un brasili solo can nomina lo "minos cold". De 193 landen na wereld, 16 zijn colder ki Deutshland (Out of 193 countries in the world, 16 are colder than Germany). Isso é no mult. Aber in compensacion lis ha la menshli werm.

Ya, e como does dat continu co the ages? 


70 - 80 ano - VIEJO VIEJO

80 - 90 ano - JOVEM ANCIAO

90 - 100 ano - OLDE SUPEROLDO

Plu ki 100 ano – I pensa no ke in dise ritmo i va llegar labah


Zé do Rock